Today I went on a walk to take a break from job hunting. It has been horrendous out there in terms of finding a job. So I decided to walk up to the local bakery and take a break from this job hunting process. This bakery is the kind of bakery that offers wheat free, dairy free and gluten free sweets. I have supported this bakery for years. Today they lost a customer. I will never set foot in their sweet tooth establishment again. If you want to know the name of the bakery so you can also not patronize them please reply with a message in this post and I will email you.
I was wearing my Ojibwa Pride sweater. I had this sweater made when I was living in Colorado and started to have more pride in who I am. I started to honor my heritage instead of hiding away in shame. So on a cool Fall day I expected to go into this bakery and to be greeted in a respectful manner. Instead I was dissected, disrespected, dishonored and most of all experienced racism.The owner saw the writing on my sweater and said, "Ojibwa Pride? Your not Indian." I instantly became enraged. Before I decided to continue and go ahead and purchase some wheat, dairy or gluten free cookies I thought twice. I replied back to him telling him that I am Ojibway. I refrained from using the word Indian because I like to describe myself with the tribe I
am part of. During our conversation he asked, "Did you go to college for free?" No, I did not and not every Native person in this country does get to go to college for free. There are vicious tribal politics, government politics and educational bureaucracies that keep many Natives from going to college for free. For those of you who don't know this is a major assumption that Native Americans get a full ride to college. As our conversation continued on I then tried to explain to him that in other communities such as the Black community people who are mixed may feel more connected to identifying as Black. They do this because they feel like they belong to this community and that this community empowers them in their identity. I was trying to give him an example outside of my community. At any rate he seemed like he was in some sort of shock and eventually apologized. I didn't accept his apology. Another customer came in and I went over to a place where there were flier's and a bulletin board of business cards. I was trying to make my mind up fast. Should I contribute to this business that just treated me with this way? Should I just breath, be a strong warrior woman and break down the chrysalis between this store owner and I? Or should I just say this is not worth my time? I knew within what the answer was. The answer was to leave.I decided to leave without saying if I will continue to support that business. I am sure my message was clear to him. I left walking down the street in anger. I sent my anger to Mother Earth for healing. I sent it to her because she understands me.
I have worked very hard all of my life to heal. As a healer I understand how my soul has been wounded. I have worked to heal my identity issues around race, class and gender. I will not internalize any more oppression to operate like a mindless drone in this system. To say I am not Ojibway is to adhere to the colonized and annihilated mind. I know that as a soul I am not here to play this game. So I write this story on my blog to help raise awareness and consciousness around racism. And yes I have Ojibway Pride!
Check out these posts today by women bloggers...
Jessica Yee wrote Indigenous Feminism and Cultural Appropriation on Racialicious.
So I Got My Period is an excellent post written by Renee at Womanist Musings.
Read Gender Asylum Threatened over at Feminocracy.
Censored News has a story up on the documentary Made in L.A., about sweatshops in America.
I also posted My Native Feminist Perspective to Think Girl.
17 voices speak:
Nice.
When I went to Eastern Michigan I had the full backing of the Sault Tribe for tuition. Under the treaty policy I was eligible for a tuition waiver.
The school used every twist and loophole they could. They would only bill for actual credit hours, saying that is all "tuition" covered. It didn't cover any class fees, lab fees, or any costs associated. Only the per credit hour cost (which was enough to allow me to pay the rest on my own w/ a job). I was lucky to even get that much, as the Bay Mills tribe denied my cousin, of equal "blood quantum" the same benefit. It was a privilege that I got that money, or I never would have afforded school. At all.
However, the college did everything in their power to make it difficult. They wanted me to pay everything up front and wait for the tribe to reimburse me. They wouldn't bill the tribe until they received verification, and the tribe couldn't verify until the school billed. It was a nightmare, and always cost me almost $1000 extra per semester due to late fees and other costs. I was still running about $5,000 out of pocket after costs b/c of the way the school billed. So, when people ask if I went to school "for free" I indignantly tell them I did not. Yes, I got help, but it was no more than anyone I knew received in financial aid. I also couldn't get financial aid b/c my mother made too much money, even though she and my (now ex) step father were so strapped I didn't receive a single dime from them. I fully recognize that I was privileged enough to receive any money at all from the Sault Tribe, but I did not by any means "go to college for free". That is a vicious lie and horrible presumption for anyone to make.
Also, way to go on Think Girl! Yay!
Thank you for sharing your story! Your story is a perfect example about the terrible bureaucratic process in action.
I am really glad to hear that you walked out of that store without purchasing anything. As POC we need to stop supporting businesses that clearly have no respect for us. We have such little power socially but as a group if we were to collectively utilize our consumer dollars we could force a great change.
I am glad that you let go of the anger and did not let it consume you. That is one of the most difficult things to do when faced with racism. It can shake you to your very core because it challenges your very right to exist. When we reject the anger and embrace ourselves in love it allows us to transcend the hatred. I am so glad that I found your blog. It give me such peace to read your words, even when I don't comment.
Thank you Renee! I am so excited to read your blog everyday to see the amazing posts that you write.
I knew that walking out of that shop was the best thing to do. It is important to transform and transcend the anger. I feel that anger is an important emotion to feel but to not hang onto. When I have anger I am always seeking ways to constructively and positively transform my anger. I can walk, bike, sing, dance, make art and write! I also agree that self love is key in helping us to transform the anger.
walking and talking your truth.
Oppressors are helpless against it. You Rock.
That is what you have to do, its the only way.
I'm at a loss as to what to say. You are so powerful!
Wow. Congrats for being so full of your power and knowing your self.
Tara
Thank you Tara and uppitybrownwoman!
Since this situation has happened I have been thinking how it is interesting that once you become empowered how you can handle a situation differently than if you are disempowered. I feel that this is why it is so important to empower people in this system - especially woman and people of color.
I know you told me about this but, I finally got over here to read about it. Again, he was completely wrong and out of line. Now that I'm thinking about this Cecelia this reminds me of something that happened to me. During some time last year I was really trying to connect with my African heritage. I've always wanted to do one of those DNA tests so I can trace my heritage directly to a country. In the meantime I had been on the net searching for anyway possible to connect to the motherland. So I joined a few African groups on Facebook. I engaged in conversations daily and some how felt a little happy because I was communicating with long lost brothers and sisters who had the chance to actually living in Africa. During one of my discussions someone told me on a discussion board that I was not at all African and I was only an American. I sometimes call myself and African in America because I do not like the way that African Americans have been treated over the years and I just still don't feel like an American because of that. Back to the comment that the person said to me That felt even worse because it came from someone of my own background.I was really hurt and ended up leaving the group but, within the Black/African American/African community there is a huge division between Africans and African Americans. Some people of both sides think they're better than one because they live in either Africa or America. Some Africans laugh at African Americans and call us nothing but, children of slaves. Some African Americans look down upon Africans because they think all Africans are poor and malnurished. Bottom line I really wish that we all can unite and some how bridge that gap. I kind of ranting now but, again this incident reminds me of what happened to me.
Glennisha-Thank you for sharing what you had experienced.
I had some similar situations occur with message boards and forums. Some of them that you joined you have to prove your tribal affiliation. Well, there are a lot of tribal politics and some folks are not affiliated with their tribe or relatives tribe. I was made fun of on a Native message board because I was mixed. It even got to the point where some people asked me if I was a "wannabe." Saying stuff like this is very hurtful to us in regards to empowering ourselves and claiming our identity.
Division inside races, tribes and ethnicity's does not make sense to me. It is hurtful to have someone from our own background say something like what that person said to you about not being African. When I have experienced something like what you have mentioned I try to take all the positive experiences and have them fill me up. I have met a lot of Natives who have fully acknowledged my heart, spirit and heritage. This feels good to look back on this and not a situation like what I recently experienced. I enjoy conversations where people are literally comfortable in their own "skin" and honor their heritage and mine with grace, kindness and compassion. Then and there that person and I are truly celebrating diversity!
I agree with you, Glennisha, I wish we could all unite. The division within race, tribes and ethnicity's seems to stop us from uniting against oppression.
I have been called "a wannabe" b/f, by people thinking they are clever b/c it rhymes w/ "anishnaabe" (apologies if I mispelled). It stings. The hatred stings coming from both sides.
It is very true that it does come from both sides. I got it Anishinaabe/Wannabe, oh goodness! It happens in all communities too. It is really frustrating, sad and annoying on many levels.
Yea. I think it hurts the most when you're denied, questioned, or made fun of by your own people.
I agree Glennisha that it does hurt the most from our very own people.
Wow. What a complete and utter ignorant fool. What did he think a Native American is *supposed* to look like? Were you supposed to be wearing a feather in your hair and smoking a pipe? I can understand your anger. Because of genocide and killing so many Natives have been killed; we should respect people who honor their roots, not question and challenge them.
And I know how hard it has been for you to pay for school. For him to assume based on your Native heritage that everything was paid off for you easily (especially when he initially questioned your identity!) was obnoxious. I'm glad you stood up to him. He needed standing up to. And while I know you were angry and you had every right to be, I think you probably did an important act of activism there. While that person must honor your decision never to return to his store, maybe he is more aware now and will not hurt someone else the way he hurt you.
And, on a personal level, I'm so sorry that happened. I certainly have never had to experience anything like that and it pains me to know that this pure act of racism happened to you. Stay strong, Cec. You are a warrior womyn! ^_^
Dolly - Thanks! I really appreciate your response~
Exactly Natives should be honored and respected not questioned this way. It hurts us.
Yes, I did spread the word to friends and family. Many will no longer go there anymore.
I am a warrior womyn and will remain strong for sure!
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