Talking about my Grandfather is a deep subject. It can energetically feel like a loud heavy train wreck that with our words we are moving through and healing some heavy karmic residue. This is what my family and I discussed this evening. It is basically unknown to most of us how his life was. I am pretty amazed of anyone who survives under racism and oppression. Especially how it was so harsh in his time. So I am pretty amazed of my Grandfather. The things he saw, felt, heard, experienced and ultimately denied within himself. He denied he was a Native man in the 20th century. He had no identity. This is why I have pride as an Ojibway womyn. In reflecting on his life I am often saddened by the state of affairs for Native peoples worldwide. Then I feel my heart, have conversations like this and know change can happen. But, it may be heavy and may feel burdensome. A dialogue where one is open and approaches the situation with peace there is some relief. There is some lifting of the old.
My Grandfather died when I was 4 years old. I wish I could of known him. I know he is one of my spirit guides in my life. To be the warrior and to stand tall in the face of racism, sexism, Mother Earth and the ultimate catapult of depression. He lived a life of severe depression. I am not going to go deep into any stories here. Mainly I want to keep some of these private until I publish the book on Healing the Family Soul. I do know that a huge part of his depression stems from internalizing oppression. This is something I am choosing to not do. I choose this for him as an ancestor and all the ancestors. As a spiritual warrior I have a choice. This choice is change. This choice is a personal evolution for a hope of changes in our world. I choose happiness, I choose joy and I choose a reality that breakdowns old generational patterns for a new way of life. I want to be clear and state that I have battled depression for much of my life. But, in healing we remove layers. I choose to remove one layer after the other. Even if I do not understand the process fully. I know as a spiritual warrior I must do the work. I know my Grandfather is helping me because I am helping him. We heal together.
I want to direct you to this poem I wrote about my Grandfather that I posted several months back called - I am the Granddaughter.
PETA Is At It Again
2 hours ago
7 voices speak:
Wow. My granfather died when I was 5 but, we were so close I swear I remember him like it was just yesterday. My Grandfather was like my father. I miss him so much.
Yes, I feel like I know him so well. Aw, I remember reading a post on your blog about your Grandfather or that you have written about him.
It is just sad not to have an elder there with us in our lives. This is why I wish I knew him more.
There is deep wisdom in sadness and as you already experienced, sadness leads to empathy and compassion. His own soul was healed when he passed on. Your work as a spiritual warrior and your connection to your ancestral past is so amazing! By healing your ancestral line, you are also healing your future generations. This work you are doing will have an affect for many generations and ripple out so that others may "Heal their Family Soul" as well. Each moment, from your grandfather and long before and long after, all leads to the next. That is the great medicine wheel of life, no?
I love that your grandfather is a guide for you. I often call on my own grandfather for help with little things that I maybe wouldn't want to bother a deity with. Besides, since they were once human and lived along our blood line, I think they have more sympathy and are easier to talk to.
Thank you for this lovely, new moon post!
I just wanted to add that it is indeed possible to still get to know your grandfather better. Especially during this time of year.
Thanks for your comment Sloth Womyn! Sadness does lead to understanding and compassion. Ultimately once we begin to embrace this sadness we heal. Generations prior may of not been able to embrace this sadness because the oppression, alcoholism from oppression and oppression of ones light. I am helping future generations for sure. I hope to see a change. I also hope that my book helps a great deal in this world. Indeed, it is the Great Medicine Wheel of life.
Oh yes with Samhain, All Souls Day, El Dia De Los Muertos - I am sure it is very possible.
What are planning on doing these days?
I've already celebrated the witch's new year with my circle. We purified, walked a labrynth, spoke to oracles and honored our dead loved ones. Nothing like ritual to connect me to spirit.
For Dia De Los Muertos I will probably go to the festival at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and then cook a huge feast at home, making sure to have place settings at the table for my ancestors, the living and the dead will have a nice family dinner together.
That sounds awesome, thanks for sharing!
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